Robot Knees

So, I'm thinking maybe I should cut of my legs just above the knee in some sort of freak chainsaw "accident", then I can have a fundraiser to get some nice new robot legs, ones that don't give out, and just need a good oiling. Even body weight squats now are getting pretty difficult.

I got my ultrasound done on Monday, so I'm hoping to get the results back relatively soon, as one of my clients got me a referral to a very good orthopod that I can't see until I get my results. I don't know how much he can do, I've already tried all of the muscle imbalance and mobility stuff that I know, sooooooo, it's all up in the air right now.

I hope I don't need surgery. . . but I would rather have surgery than arthritis.

I'm getting the damn chainsaw. Or, I'll just get Sheila to do it, she wouldn't think twice.

Ditto.

Short post..

Back flips are amazing. I would have rocked them out no problem, but Sheila's damn neck kept getting in the way. And she kept feeling up my chest while spotting. I know! Weird..

Sheila was getting it pretty good, but her INSANE AMOUNT OF SWEAT kept getting in the way of Roger and I doing a good job spotting.. . man, she sweats more than Roger and I combined.

Roger rocked it second time through. . After I realized saying, "Uh Oh" midway through the jump was probably not the best idea.

Just like Sheila, my job is awesome.. . you don't think so? Why don't you go outside on your lunch break and try some back flips with your co-workers. No? And the best part is, nobody looked at us like we were idiots.. they know the truth.

A step in the right direction

Awesome.

This post will be short, but I will say that Hamilton is getting the picture.

I was reading thespec.com today and saw an amazing idea. It's an outdoor park that has resistance machines. Leg press, eliptical, rowing machine and a couple of others. And people of all ages can use it because it is based off of your own body weight.

It is vandal proof, completely weatherproof, and it's a lot of cool colors!

Good job Hamilton. It's a step away from being the most overweight city in Canada. :)

http://www.thespec.com/go/healthfitness/article/592965

Bulletproof vest + ACF trainers = Internal bleeding.

So recently, we had one of our clients bring in a bulletproof vest. And I don't mean a flimsy, kevlar covered vest that policeman wear now.. I mean a 25 pound, kick ass, porcelain composite, covered with kevlar kind of vest that can stop missle attacks.
So, if anyone is going to volunteer to put this bad boy on and see who can hurt him.. . of course it was going to be me. Some people think I am weird.. Ok, everyone thinks I am weird, but who else can say they get paid to get beat up while wearing a bulletproof vest? So it started with a lat pulldown bar, just a nice tap.. . then a little harder.. but we quickly realized that that made a lot of noise, so we upgraded to kicks.
Sheila was first. I figured, being a black belt and harboring some pretty intense anger from me making some "not so professional" comments for the last 9 months, that she was going to destroy me. She ran from the other side of the studio and kicked me very hard. I could see the gleam in her eye when she was running towards me.. . pure glee. But it didn't hurt at all... and she kicked me hard. This vest is awesome. Unfortunately for my insides, Roger was there too. I saw him standing on the other side of the room, in the shadows, rubbing his hands together, with a little smile on his face. Now, as much faith as I had in said vest, Roger is about 6"4, probably 6"5, and around 260 pounds. But, why not. So he started out with a nice front kick, not too shabby. But still no pain. So he decided to make a run from the other side of the studio as well.



Can you think of the most afraid you have ever been in your entire life? Picture an ex CFL player of 10 years, half smile, half grimace, running at you full tilt, and you knowing that his size 15's are going to connect with your chest in a matter of seconds. I wont lie, it was intense. Then came the boot. It knocked me back a good 6 feet, but didn't even take my breath away. Awesome.

So, since then, I have had the vest on a few more times, used it for some focus pad sessions, and have probably taken more kicks to the chest then should be allowed, but hey, I bet it's only a coincidence that I coughed up some blood yesterday. And that I can't take deep breaths.. . Uh oh.

I'm kidding, it was awesome.

Have I mentioned my job is awesome?

Am I too OLD?

So, I've been thinking that I want to learn how to do some sort of front/back/side flipping before I pass away, so I've been looking into BG's in Burlington to see what they have to offer. Fortunately for me, they have such a program. The small town I came from had one sort of "gymnastics" gym, but it was about 20km outside of the city, and as an 8 year old, that seemed like a far trek after school, but it was always something I knew I would do when I got older. But then I got a bit older. And I started playing more sports, dating and overall being a young guy who thought that guys doing back hand springs was kind of "fancy." Now that I am even older, and would like to say "more mature", I would love to be able to knock out a backflip at a party, or if need be, running away from the CIA, or whoever was chasing me. My training as of late has been focusing on becoming ridiculously strong, but I think I am going to throw in some exercises that make people go, ". . . cooooool.. "
So, keep reading, and hopefully in a few months, I'll be doing some new exercises that I can be excited about.
On another note, I went to boot camp again, but this time it was "Bring a Friend Day" for the campers. So a few women brought their husbands, even a few brought their children. My faith in mankind has been raised as of this morning, because I saw people that barely had their eyes open running relay races at 5:40 am... neat. Not that they weren't mumbling their share of pretty hateful words, mostly towards their spouses for making them get up that early, but it was all in all pretty fun.

And at the end they all got an apple. You can't start off your day any better.

Stag and Doe

So tonight is going to be a good night. I am a groomsman in my good friends wedding in a few months, and tonight is his Stag and Doe. I am going to be passing out jello shooters and harping on about supportive nutrition all night. ACF has been nice enough to donate a consultation with me, along with a few other items, to be given as one of the prizes tonight. There are going to be around 250 people there, so i's going to be good to get our name out... Even if all of the people there are going to be half in the bag.
My training is going a lot better now, I am a lot more focused and am also trying a new program. I have a few clients that I am VERY excited about as well. Wait, who am I kidding, I am excited about all of my clients.
Have any of you ever had a job where you can honestly say there is no aspect of said job that you hate? Honestly... the only part of my job that I don't like is changing the garbage at the end of the night.. and that takes about 40 seconds.. It's kind of weird. I know, I know, you are jealous.

Robot Monkeys... ppffffft.

Now one of my clients just made me google "Squirrel Launcher". .. now THAT is a video.

Montreal!

So I was in Montreal this past weekend for a wedding and I forgot how nice that city is. I went with a couple of friends and we decided to take the train. It only takes 5 hours on a train... that is awesome. What's not so awesome is that you don't get to pick who sits around you. One guy loved Bon Jovi. I mean he LOVED him. He had his ipod turned up so loud that I could make out every word. But the worst part was that he decided that maybe Jon needed a backup singer, so he piped in.. Wow. I would have to compare that sound to someone who has been trapped under building rubble for at least 13 hours, has his legs crushed and is loudly whimpering for help.. . while being lit on fire.
Other than that, the trip was awesome, I can't say I ate very supportively, but it was a vacation and how can you turn down bacon wrapped shrimp kabobs.. seriously. I saw some really good friends that I hadn't seen in a while, and made quite a few new ones. (I also passed out a few business cards. .who knows?)

But now I am back on track, fully recovered and ready to get some clients their BEACH BODIES! I wish someone would help me find mine, I think I lost it..

P.S - My daughter is walking now, and constantly screeching as lous as she can, for absolutely no reason. Being a dad is fun, I wish I could be in my daughter's head, just for a minute, so I could know why she decides that screaming at a box of wipes is the right thing to do.